Relationship between a Mother and Her Sons in Sons and Lovers by Lawrence.

Sons and Lovers by D.H Lawrence is chiefly concerned with the relationship between a mother and her sons. This novel portrays how the mother, Mrs. Morel depends on her sons and how her possessive love for her sons hinder their ability to establish fulfilling relationships with other women. The relation of Mrs. Morel with her sons was so intense that: "As her sons grow up she selects them as lovers-first the eldest, then the second. These sons are urged into life by their reciprocal love of their mother. . . urged on and on. But when they come to manhood, they can't love, because their mother is the strongest power in their love". [Lawrence]This is the basic theme of their relationship.

 

As a result of Mrs. Morel's unhappy life with her husband, she turned with her husband and lavished all of her attention to her sons.Mrs. morel being dissatisfied with her marriage, first turned to William who was the centre of her affections and care. She was very proud of this son of hers.  She wanted to him with every possible opportunity to distinguish himself in life instead of becoming a mere miner. When Mr. Morel wanted to thrash the boy, she warned her husband: "Don't you spare. . . only dare to lay a finger on that child! You'll regret it for ever".

 

Like her mother, William also loved his mother more intensely. She was the whole world to him. When he got his first job, he gave his entire weekly wages to his mother. She believed that no women could take her place in her beloved son's heart. When William was constantly dating with pretty girls, he hardly came home to visit which depressed his mother as all she thought about is him. She even persuaded William to leave his fiancé.

 

When William left home for London, Mrs. Morel was saddened. Although she was confident that he would be so well in London, she was greatly saddened by his leaving. His leaving depressed her to such a degree that he was all she thought about when he was not with her- " All day long, as she cleansed the house, she thought of him. He was in London; he would do well. Almost, he was like her knight who wore her favour in the battle."(p 1,ch 4).

 

After returning home from London, at first he dropped his bag and took his mother in his arms. Later when his boss offered him a trip in the Mediterranean at a very small cost, it was especially for his mother's sake that he sacrificed his trip.

When Mrs. Morel learnt William's relation with a gypsy girl, she was greatly shocked and felt threatened that William's future life would take her place as the woman he loved most in his heart. William also felt uneasy about his love affair because, perhaps at the back of his mind was the love for his mother. Perhaps he subconsciously thought that his marrying western would interfere with his love for his mother. Then Mrs. Morel received a great shock when she was informed about William’s illness. Two hours after her arrival there he died. When the coffin of William was brought into the house, Mrs. Morel cried out,"Oh, my son, my son!" After the death of William, life had lost its meaning for her.  ‘’Mrs. Morel could not be persuaded, after this, to talk and take her old bright interest in life. She remained shut off… When Paul came home at night he found his mother sitting, her day's work done, with hands folded in her lap upon her coarse apron. She always used to have changed her dress and put on a black apron, before.’’

Then After the death of William, Mrs. Morel turned her love from William to Paul. Paul was hopelessly devoted to his mother and that love often bordered on romance desire. Mrs morel the centre of Paul's life, and "his heart contracted with pain of love of her"  Lawrence portrays many scenes between Mrs. Morel and Paul that in beyond the conventional mother son love. Paul couldn’t love wither woman as nearly as he did his mother. He was always conscious of his mother and both became each other's support, confidante, and "centre of the world". To live with his mother by himself was Paul’s greatest desire. Paul imagined that he and his mother would live together when he would be old enough to earn money by himself and when his father would die. He loved his mother so much that he wanted to be with her and spent all of his time with her. When he got ill, he slept with his mother and for him this was more healing than medicine. "Paul loved to sleep with his mother. Sleep is still more perfect in spite of hygienists, when it is shared with a beloved." This quote shows how much Paul liked being with his mother. He felt secure and relaxed with his mother. ^］In his eyes, his mother is his only beloved woman and the woman who would stay with him in his mind was only his mother instead of his later wife: “But I shan’t marry, mother. I shall live with you, and we’ll have a servant.”

 

Paul felt a prisoner of industrialism, and only wanted a simple life. But Paul appeased his mother and went along with her plans for him. Paul's going to work in industry was the fulfillment of his mother's desire. And so both of them traveled together on the way to the interview-‘’feeling the excitement of lovers having an adventure together".

 

Paul and his mother's intensity of love to each other are clearly shown as Paul sits along with his mother. Paul said: “I can do my best things when you sit there in your rocking chair". Mrs. Morel also “sat slightly conscious of him labouring away. And he, with all his soul's intensity directing his pencil, could feel her warmth hoping him like strength".

 

When Paul fell in love with Miriam, his mother felt deeply hurt. She felt that Paul was being drawn away from her by this girl. She  was of the opinion  that Miriam ‘’wants to absorb him till there is nothing left of him, even for himself. He will never be a man on his own two feet -she will suck him up". 2.8.

 

Mrs. Morel continued to be emotionally involved in his love affair because she feared that he would be destroyed by them. The following extract illustrates her concern:"Mrs . Morel felt as if her heart would break for him. At this rate she knew he would not live. He had that poignant carelessness about himself, his own suffering, his own life, which is a form of slow suicide. It almost broke her heart".

 

Paul was shocked at his mother's outburst and realized the fact  that he loved only his mother.

 "He could not bear it. Instinctively he realized that he was life to her. And, after all, she was the chief thing to him, the only supreme thing".

 

Paul saw that his mother was hurt when he spent his time with Miriam. He felt bad that the time he spent with Miriam was making his mother suffers and he hated Miriam for making his mother suffer so much. He attempted to convince his mother that she was the one woman who he loved most and wanted to come home to. Paul also told Miriam that he would never love her as much as she loved him because he would always love his mother the most. Soon thereafter, he confessed to his mother. ‘’I really don't love her, I talk to her, but I want to come home to you". This intense feeling for his mother is shown when he grieved for her death by crying :"My love, my love-oh, my love!"

 

Alas he realized that his mother's death had freed him from her grip and now he could live to become a man of his own instinct and will. But after the death of his mother, Paul feels crumbled up and lonely. "She was the only thing that held him up, himself, amid all this. And she was gone, intermingled herself. He wanted her to touch him, have him alongside with her. But no, he would not give in...He would not take that direction, to the darkness, to follow her." Part 2, Chapter 15, p Weiss points out in his essay, ‘’The Mother in the Mind","Paul and Gertrude are lovers, however not of the body, but of the spiritual mind. "

 

Another critic also commented on Mrs. Morel’s relation with Paul,‘’It is Mrs. Morel that Paul resembles and loves and who forms the psychological barrier that Paul repeatedly comes up against in his drive to know himself. Mrs. Morel, though, is also a facilator in Paul's development, as she attempts to shield him from her husbands vulgar habits and rescues him from a life in the mines." Chris Semansky

 

To sum up we can conclude that this novel is completely based on the emotional and loving friendship between sons and their mother that lead many catastrophes in their respective lives. This relationship remains intact even after the death of their death

 

References; 1Lawrence, Letters to Edward Garnett,76,5D . H. Lawrence, Sons and Lovers, London 1949,33

2 Weiss, ‘’The Mother in the Mind",

3 Chris Semansky, critical essay on Sons and Lovers, in Novels for students. Gale, 2003.